Monday, August 6, 2012

lessons in grace

Thanks to everyone for their messages of love and sympathy.  They truly meant so much to me.  I've saved them and printed them off to go with all the sweet sentiments that came our way over the last couple of weeks.  The service that we had for Baba (that's what we all called my grandmother) was just wonderful.  It truly was a celebration of her life.  We laughed and cried our way through it all.  This is the first significant death in my life and I have learned so much.
Lesson one:
Cards really do mean so much!
Every card we received really meant so much to me....I will never under estimate the power of lovingly sent sympathy card again.  (and I'll be much better at sending them to others when I hear of their loss)

Lesson two:
Grief makes you tired.
Getting a good night's sleep in the midst of our planning was so important.  I had no idea how tiring grief really is.
Lesson three:
The scriptures really are a balm of healing.
Reading over God's word and reflecting on His promises has proven very powerful over the last couple of weeks.  Some of my favorite scriptures have been:  Psalm 30:4-5, Revelation 14:13, Psalm 62:1-2
and Lamentations 3:22-25

Lesson four:
Death is doesn't matter the age at which someone passes.
My Baba was 93 and while we knew she wouldn't be with us forever, when she passed it was still hard.  I think we were all expecting to be able to gather and hold her hand and be with her as she passed.
Lesson five:
Everyone needs to grieve in their own way.
Each one of us handled/is handling the loss of Baba differently.  No one way is the right way or the wrong way.  My little guy cried hard the first couple of nights...he didn't cry during the service because he told me "I got it all out in the beginning, Mom"

Lesson six:
Being supportive is powerful and it really does make a difference.
We had friends that came to the viewing just because they loved us...I wasn't expecting this and it was so wonderful.  We also had friends calling and checking in on us throughout the week....that made a world of difference.
I've been thinking about all of these things and more over the last couple of weeks and I realize in addition to these lesson that I've learned more about grace as well.  I've been shown such amazing grace in the form of friends and family who have loved and prayed and cared for us.  God has been so gracious to us during this time.  I've also learned to extend grace to those who haven't lost anyone significant in their lives and therefore don't understand the sadness that was so tangible to us.  (I'm sure I've been one of those people to someone else at some time in the past.)  These past couple of weeks have been hard...but good.
 All the photos were taken on our vacation...We were on our last day of vacation when we learned of Baba's passing.  That night we went down to the beach and flew kites "up to heaven" as a special way to remember her.   It was an amazing night. Kite flying will always be special to us from now on.
I'll be back very soon with some happier things to share....just needed to get these thoughts out of my head and onto "paper".


Kristyn Knits said...

Awesome. He teaches us even through difficult situations, grief, and pain...always for our ultimate good. love. these. lessons.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how clear your reflections are, in such a difficult time. You're so right about grace carrying us through. What you say about helping others who have experienced a loss is helpful to me. One of our neighbours just died, and although over the past weeks I've done some baking for her family, and we have put a card through the door this evening, I feel so helpless to comfort her grieving husband and family. So I'm glad to hear that cards and so forth do make a difference.

From All Stitched Up said...

Thanks for sharing your ideas. This is always a tough situation. I'm hoping you get back to your "normal" life as soon as possible.

Tracy said...

May the grace & blessing keep flowing, Lisa... This was an incredibly beautiful ode to coping with loss. So glad you shared this. And your happy vacation photos--love the kites! :o) ((HUGS))

Cathy said...

This was extremely poignant to read, especially since I lost my own dear mother not that long ago. How rich we are in the grace only He can provide, and the truth of the matter is sometimes He chooses to use others to minister, and consequently we are able to minister to others in their time of need.

Your lessons learned are indelibly written on your heart.
Blessings and prayers to you.

Larissa said...

What a gorgeous way to celebrate your grandma's life! I love how the joy in your heart is visible in everything you do. Best to your family!

Gloria said...

Your words here are a soothing balm to me! I had to wipe a few tears from my eyes while reading this. I thank God he gave you wisdom and grace to share from your heart. Saying a prayer for you and your family. Thank you for visiting my blog, and for your sweet comment. :)